It was as if the gun had just went off at the raceway, but two thoroughbreds had already taken the second quarter turn before we could even get off of the starting blocks. It was the race of our lives and we needed to chase down not just one quarter horse, but two. The cancer quarter horse and the out of control havoc causing fluid horse. It was a race I was afraid we would lose. For the first time in this journey, it was a race I was afraid we had fallen too far behind.
“we should have’s” are only a rabbit chase into a never ending set of possibilities, both positive and negative.
Shouldn't packing up my husband be a joyous occasion? Is it the fact that I have come to love so many of the nurses, doctors and staff here at CHIPSA Hospital that every goodbye hurts? Is it the fact that we finally get to go home and my heart is happy that the treatments are working? Is it the fact that they have cared for my hubs so well that fear is setting in on what the next 90 days requires of us at home? I imagine its all of the above.
Wow. What a hard day. What an emotional day. I woke up a little earlier this morning anticipating a full day filled with information, meetings and goodbyes. I should have known the day would be filled with strong emotions. But, who can ever be prepared for these types of situations?
Tuesday, November 24th Ryan had his wisdom teeth removed, his silver (mercury) filling replaced with a plasma covering of his own blood and the root canal tooth removed.
We live in a society where we have incredible access and tons of information that we can glean from. There are many books, articles, blogs and more which hold all sorts of points of view with data and statistics backing much of it. While information is good the overload makes it hard to decipher what direction to go.
Reality is ever redefining. It can literally change from one second to the next. . .
The thoughts you never thought you’d have. The call you never thought you’d get. The word you never want to hear for you . . .
Finally, I simply want to say THANK YOU. Thank you to all 90 GoFundMe contributors, 22 more who have helped in another financial fashion & misc others I've probably forgot to keep track up in all the craziness. We are just so grateful beyond words for the generosity, kindness & love we have received & continue to receive 24/7. When we say we appreciate it, simply trust we mean it with every fiber of our being! We are not beating CANCER alone. No, we are beating it together with each & every one of you & for that we are eternally grateful!
They say rain cleanses the earth. It refreshes the air and before it even hits the ground it can attract tens to hundreds of tiny aerosol particles to its surface. While it falls it literally clears the air of pollutants. One can say the same for tears . . . it cleanses the soul, removing the burden the heart is not meant to carry.